Oh That Test:Get Over It!

Reprinted from the Tallahassee Democrat (www.tallahassee.com)
Originally published July 30, 2006


By Mary Ann Lindley
EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR


While traveling this summer, I've seen Katie Couric's beautiful smile on many airport billboards and every time I've thought: What a woman!

She is almost single-handedly bringing out of the closet a topic that makes more people squeamish by far than taboos we tucked away for generations, but which are now easily discussed.


Couric is making it more tolerable to acknowledge that each of us, even beautiful TV celebrities, has a colon and that it needs to be as well-tended and healthy as our hearts, lungs, blood vessels, prostates, breasts, thyroids and all other significant body parts that manage to remain giggle-proof.

Couric's husband died of colorectal cancer and her mission for several years has been to urge people who are 50 or older to have That Test. She herself had it discreetly performed on TV.

The test that makes grown men whimper and women who have given birth to five children flinch is the colonoscopy. It's the most thorough examination for early signs of colorectal cancer, but there are less-invasive, less-expensive tests such as the sigmoidoscopy, that also provide early warnings.

I've had 'em all, the sigmoidoscopy not long after my mother was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 1976. She received that terrible news shortly after her brother had died of colon cancer, and so my doctor said it wasn't too soon to be screened.

I was younger than most people when I had my first colonoscopy. A few weeks ago I had my second one, and I'll have the test every three years from now on, in accordance with the advice of Dr. Timothy Paulk of the Digestive Disease Clinic. My family history trumps other risk indicators: eating a lot of fatty foods, smoking at all, drinking excessive alcohol, failing to exercise, being overweight.

The test is by no means a dreadful ordeal. The worst part is drinking 8 ounces every 15 minutes for three long hours a bland pharmaceutical product amusingly named Golytely, and you will. Go.

This cleansing procedure gets tiresome and traps you near a bathroom. You can't eat anything to speak of, and nothing at all from the night before the procedure. Yet, a funny thing happened to me at some point during this preparation: I began to feel incredibly virtuous, pure as the driven snow, light of spirit, and bored enough that I was more than ready to get on with the colonoscopy. Which is a piece of cake.

You will be sedated and have a nice nap, waking up to a pleasant desire to have a bite to eat, but probably not a triple cheeseburger. Remember, your body has adjusted to your 24-hour fast and is appreciating how your favorite jeans aren't so tight now.

Most likely, you'll then get a doctor's report that helps guide your future health-care habits, but which will not give you any bad news. But if the test results do show a condition of concern, such as polyps, which are typically removed during the test, you are already many steps ahead of Katie Couric's husband. He died of not bothering to be screened for subtle conditions that can take a decade to turn into cancer.

You would also be far ahead of my mother, who although she is 87 today, has lived for nearly 30 years with her digestive system rerouted by a full and irreversible colonectomy, which she has handled with grace, mentioning it only rarely and then as "a nuisance that you get used to."

Her experience has committed me and my siblings to diligence and just a touch of evangelism regarding The Test.

It is of great concern to me that 42 million Americans over 50 are not getting screened for this cancer, with black Americans especially at risk. Though it is the nation's No. 2 cancer killer, and will take more than 55,000 lives this year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says 60 percent of those deaths could be prevented through routine screening. Medicare pays for the screenings and most insurance policies cover them in part. But money and insurance are not the biggest parts of the problem, for there are simpler, cheaper tests to start with and the CDC has just started a free-screening project in five areas nationwide. It may, it should, be expanded nationwide to attack this killer.

In the meantime, don't be a wimp: Get the test. It's not going to kill you.